Child Developmental Milestones – 3 Years and Beyond

A developmental milestone is something a typically developing child should do within a certain age range. There are many types of milestones. A few examples might be: the way your child plays with other people, how many words they use, whether they can feed or dress themselves, and how they move their bodies. As they get older, milestones include how well they read and write and classroom behavior too.

Developmental lists on this page explain what a typically developing child should do at 3 years and older.

Developmental Milestones: 3 to 5 Years

From 3 to 5 years, a typically developing preschool child should become much more social and independent. During this time, developmental milestones include many skills like recognizing letters of the alphabet, counting, potty training, and imaginary play. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has a number of specific milestones for age 3 to 5 years.

Call your doctor if, by 5 years, your child:

• Doesn’t show a wide range of emotions.
• Shows extreme behaviors or moods (unusually fearful, aggressive, shy, or sad).
• Is unusually withdrawn or not active.
• Is easily distracted and has trouble focusing on one activity for more than 5 minutes.
• Doesn’t respond to people or responds in a limited way.
• Can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe.
• Doesn’t play different types of games and activities.
• Can’t give their first and last name.
• Doesn’t use plural words or the past tense properly.
• Doesn’t talk about their daily activities or experiences.
• Doesn’t draw pictures.
• Can’t brush teeth, wash and dry hands, or get undressed without help.
• Loses skills they once had.

Development: Beyond 5 Years Old

When your child moves into the school years, a lot changes for them.

School is a very different environment than your home, preschool, Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) experience, or a day care setting. Expectations for children change. They’re expected to sit still, follow a schedule, learn to read and write, and adjust to a new group of children. As a result, developmental milestones will expand to include reading, writing, and math skills – plus the ability to pay attention.

Many children find it hard to adjust to school in the first few weeks or months. But, if your child is missing important milestones, those problems will keep going beyond those early months.

Your child’s teacher will be a great resource for you in helping to know if there is something that you need to look into. They might even be the first to see that a child is not developing in the typical ways.

If your child’s teacher does bring something up with you, it might be really hard to hear. It might even be completely different than what you’ve seen at home. It’s natural for a child to act one way at school and differently at home. So, getting a second opinion from a doctor or professional can be a really good idea if you or your child’s teacher notices the following signs about your child:

• Not reading or writing on grade level, despite trying and practicing.
• Slow to learn the connection between letters and sounds.
• Slow to remember facts.
• Slow to learn new skills, relies heavily on memorization.
• Is impulsive.
• Is disorganized.
• Has poor coordination, unaware of physical surroundings, or prone to accidents.
• Has trouble making friends.
• Acts out in class.
• Does not want to go to school on a regular basis.
• Has trouble sleeping, stomach pain, or other signs of anxiety.

If you believe your child needs extra help in the classroom, your school can help you figure out a plan. Talk to your child’s teacher, counselor, or principal about services and support available at your school. We have more information about school and special education services at our Education and Schools page.

If your child is acting one way at home and another way at school, you might consider either recording a video at home or asking your teacher to record a video of your child’s behavior in school. It will help you and the teacher stay on the same page.

What to Expect From Your Child’s Teachers

• They should not diagnose your child, recommend therapy, or recommend medication.
• They can give you detailed information whenever your child might be missing milestones. For example: having trouble sitting still, having a hard time with reading, or being disorganized with their work and belongings.
• They can bring in other school staff to help, like a counselor or literacy specialist, who might recommend your child be tested for a learning disability or other issue.
• They can provide personalized assistance to your child, like extra one-on-one time with reading, or having them sit closer to the front of the class to help your child pay attention.
• They can be an asset to and member of your care team as you are learning about your child.