Ask as Many Questions as You Need

As the parent of a child with a disability, this quote really spoke to me. Caregivers often hear information about our kids from many different experts who aren’t always clear communicators. As caregivers, we often must ask for clarification or for them to explain concepts in simpler terms.

Asking for clarification from doctors and specialists is a very necessary part of parenting a child with disabilities. Even so, I still dislike constantly needing to ask for clarification. I worry that important details will get lost in the translation. When I ask for someone to rephrase, they may think I don’t understand their point instead of understanding that I’m just not familiar with the jargon they use. 

As my son has gotten older, I’ve learned more medical, legal and academic jargon, but I’ve also gotten more insistent that people explain things clearly. As my son’s representative, I feel a lot of pressure to get things right when talking to doctors, teachers, administrators, or any professionals. I believe they should feel the same level of obligation when talking to me to make sure that we’re on the same page.

The people across the table from you bear a level of responsibility in making sure you walk away informed and confident. It’s on them to explain it well and it’s on us as parents to keep asking questions until we understand completely what they’re saying.

So, consider this a call to arms, an encouraging pat on the back for those moments when someone uses jargon that doesn’t quite register or is not clear. It’s not your fault that you don’t understand the terms and phrases they use. They are pros and we are parents. There’s a shared responsibility to ensure that the information is received properly. 

In short, asking for things to be explained well isn’t an imposition on the person explaining things. The focus here is the information itself. Caring for our kids involves a lot of people, and it’s a shared responsibility—a partnership, and any good partnership goes two ways.

When in doubt, ask. Slow things down and go word by word if you need to. We owe that to our kids, but more than that, we owe it to ourselves as parents and advocates for our children. 

Here are some tips on talking to your doctor.