What Makes a Good Doctor?

If 10 parents of children with disabilities were all asked, “What makes a good doctor?” all of them would have different answers. Our experiences and specific needs drive a lot of our perceptions. However, there are a few things that most, if not all, of the parents would agree are important qualities. These things are not specific only to doctors. These qualities apply to all providers: nurses, therapists, social workers, teachers, etc.

We may not care what medical school you went to. Or how many years you have been working in this field. However, none of us want to be your first patient. We don’t care if you use the most expensive equipment or can work without any equipment at all. These things may matter to the person hiring you (clinics, hospitals, etc.) but they are not what matters to us as patients or our families.

What matters to us is much simpler. Do you treat the patient, our child, with respect? Do you talk to them instead of over or about them? Do you recognize them as a person with their own interest and feelings? Or are they a medical record number?

Do you see the spunky 9-year-old that loves all things that glitter? Or do you see only a diagnosis? Just because our child may not be able to speak or may be a little different than your other patients, does not make our child any less of a kid or less deserving of your respect.

Are you willing to tell us you don’t know the answer? Can you say, “I don’t know, but I will find out”? We are okay with you not knowing, as long as you help us find the answer. We are never okay with you taking an unnecessary risk with our child.

Do you listen to what we have to say? Or, do you disregard our voice since you are the professional and we are just the parent? We spend more time with our child than you will ever spend with them. We may not have a medical degree. Many of us may not have a degree at all. But we know our child better than anyone else.

We need to know you are listening. And that we are treated as part of the team. That we are part of the solution to what our child needs.

If you can treat our child the way that they deserve, listen to our concerns, and be honest with us, chances are we will all think you are a great provider.

Here is more information about talking to your child’s doctor and what you should expect from a provider.