Nonspeaking Instead of Nonverbal

I love this adjustment in language. My son has never communicated much with spoken words. In recent years, he does not talk at all, but he has taught me that there are many other ways to communicate. Sounds, facial expressions, sign language and whole-body movement, are just a few examples of this. 

Previously when I introduced or described my son, I used the word nonverbal. However, that term holds negative associations for me. It seems to exclude the possibility that he might be able to communicate, which isn’t accurate at all. 

Nonspeaking is much more hopeful and accurate. Describing a person as nonspeaking seems to leave open the possibility of other ways to communicate. Nonspeaking also makes less of an implication about a person’s ability to understand. 

When I hear that a person is nonspeaking, I imagine someone going about their daily life. They just happen not to be talking.

I’ve seen posts on social media explaining what nonverbal does not mean. For example, nonverbal does not mean non-hearing or non-thinking. Nonverbal does not mean non-feeling or not understanding. 

I think using the word nonspeaking helps avoid having to do all that explaining. When my son meets someone new, I don’t want to dwell on what he cannot do. I’d rather say things like, “he’s talking to you with his eyes,” “he’s saying hello with a big smile,” or “just look at his face to see if he likes something or not.”

Communicating without words does require more effort for you as the listener. You need to pay close attention to facial expressions, body movements and sometimes just the blink of an eye. Communication is different for each nonspeaking individual, but once you get the hang of their communication style, it’s amazing how much you’ll notice someone tells you without speaking. 

Acceptance of nonspeaking communication depends on the setting. I don’t often have to explain my son’s communication style to teachers or medical providers. They sometimes need to be reminded to slow down, practice patience and watch for his cues. 

It’s different when we’re out in public. In these settings, he tends to get overlooked or even stared at when he doesn’t say hello or answer a question.

I hope for a time when I can introduce my son and people don’t bat an eye at the way he communicates. Until then, I think replacing nonverbal with nonspeaking is a step toward greater understanding and acceptance. 

There’s plenty more to read here if your child is nonspeaking.