When Casey passed away in March of 2016, my entire world changed. I have many friends who have lost a child. I thought that by watching them go through losing a child, I had a glimpse of what to expect. I was wrong. You never know what to expect. And you are never ready when the day comes to say goodbye to your baby.
One thing I heard from many others was that they loved to hear people talk about the children who have passed. Sadly, many people who are not in our shoes don’t understand this. So many people avoid mentioning our babies. They avoid any topic they think may remind us of them. They think it is too painful for us.
While I think these intentions are good, it doesn’t matter if someone reminds us of the children we lost. Whether they bring them up or not, our angels are always on our mind.
There is not a second that goes by that Casey is not on my mind. I do my best to focus on the good stuff, and not dwell on the sick days, what might-have-been, or struggles. No matter what, though, she is always on my mind.
One thing that parents like me fear is that people will forget our children. We do our best to keep their memories alive, but it hurts when others in our lives seem to forget. By avoiding talking about Casey, it sometimes comes across as that person has forgotten her.
In a perfect world, if someone sees something that makes them think of Casey, or a memory of her they want to share, they would tell me. I want to hear her name, and I want to know that she is alive in your hearts and memory as well. Please don’t avoid talking about her.
In a perfect world, there is a fine balance: Casey’s memory is present, you do not feel pity for me, and I am not pushed to a point where I am overwhelmed with grief. I know I do not live in a perfect world.
If you are reading this, you can help make it a little better though.
Next time our angels cross your mind call, email, text, or reach out. Just let us know you are thinking of them. It’s that easy.
After making the difficult decision to medicate your child, with time and on occasions, old symptoms return or new ones appear. Once again, you’re faced with what felt like an already-made decision - to medicate higher or more, or not.