The Advocate’s Dilemma – Pick Your Battles

I remember being a young mother and thinking how tough life was trying to juggle all the details, appointments, and information. Now that my son is older, I have the same life, but it seems more complicated. 

My son, who has autism and epilepsy, graduated a year ago and is currently in a program      organized through the public school system. We had great luck with it the first year, but as the program became more popular and more students were accepted into it, the program has changed. 

Fortunately for us, my son has the same wonderful teacher.  However, changes to the program rules affected the teacher-to-student ratio. The best teacher on the planet could only be stretched so far.  

Over the years, I have learned to pick my battles as far as what I want to speak up about on behalf of my child. As a mom of any child, I think you have to pick your battles on a daily basis,      especially as they get older. 

I have started to question myself, though. If I don’t speak up, I beat myself up for staying quiet. If I do speak up, it seems like I get shunned or ostracized because I had the nerve to question authority.  

At what point do you draw a line and say I am going to fight for what I know is right, what my child needs to be safe, and what I, as a mom, deem necessary for the good of my child. 

I am realizing as my son gets older that these battles aren’t going away, in fact, I think I have to fight harder for the simplest of things. When our children are younger and cuter, it seems as if people are more willing to lend an ear. As they get older, it seems they begin to outgrow not only the system but people’s hearts. 

I try my hardest day in and day out to continue fighting for my son. I want to go to bed at night knowing that, when it comes to my son’s care or well-being, I have never left a stone unturned. I believe it’s that momma bear instinct we have instilled in all of us. 

Learn more about being an advocate for your child here.