For 16 years, I have done most of the communication and advocacy with my son, Jac’s, school and special education teachers. The exception was 2 ARD meetings when I made my husband come along. It's not that he didn't want to be involved. It's just that over the years, we have divided up the duties and the education seemed to fall under my responsibility.
My son made the big transition to high school this year. The first couple of weeks went okay. But once the honeymoon was over, my son was trying to find ways to get his sweet new teachers wrapped around his little finger and get himself out of work.
After hearing reports that my dear son was beginning to throw chairs at school, I had just about reached breakdown level. Yes, he was not feeling well and his behavior gets worse when he is sick. But I'm sorry, he will not be throwing chairs for any reason, period.
I sent letters to the school. I text the teacher. My husband and I even went up to the school to talk to my son firmly and together, in hopes of scaring him.
This week, my husband decided to go observe Jac at school. We made sure to tell the teachers that we were very concerned about him hurting someone and not about their capabilities. I must say that after 4 hours, my husband had a whole new outlook on our son, school, teaching, and parenting. It was amazing and exciting.
He offered advice to the teachers about what works at home for transitions. He helped brainstorm and share ideas with everyone. I now have another person who gets Jac's school life and can help with ideas to make it work better for our son. And mysteriously, thanks to my husband's ideas, our son is already doing better!
Welcome to my world, Mr. Curtis! And thanks for being there with me!
I was surprised how parenting a kid with intensive needs affected my relationship with my older children and my extended family.
Categories: Family Support